Doing the Tourism

Our paddles clang together in perfectly synchronized strokes. The water is quite choppy and the double kayak feels very unstable. Our guide is a bit too far away to help us as we are flailing around. At least we signed a waiver form absolving him of any responsibility for our safety. This would never fly in Europe.

Captain Lina shouts commands like “Stay true!” and “Stop whining about the misaligned steering!” Cabin boy Ben obeys about 50% of commands. Aided by favorable winds, the voyage to Domwe island – our port of call for the night – lasts about half an hour. After much grumbling about sore butts and wet phones we are led to a beautiful tent platform overlooking the lake. And just like that the ordeal was worth it.

As we are preparing for a little hike to the top of the island we get to chatting to Adam and Daniel from Israel. We quickly bond over economics and our love for a nuanced discussion. Three hours of babbling later we decide not go for that hike after all. We meet so few people and getting to know someone new beats sweating up a hill.

The Catholic Church has done quite well in its missionary work in East Africa. Most people tick the “Christian” box in household surveys and churches of all shapes and sizes abound. But we learn from Adam and Daniel that this hasn’t stopped most people from believing in witches, curses and sometimes even rapist ghosts. If the doctor or the priest can’t solve your problem, it becomes a case for the witch doctor.

We can’t help but chuckle at the parallels to the Middle Ages. But we’re secretly relieved that we weren’t raised to believe in witchcraft, the magic of Harry Potter aside. That’s totally real. At dinner we spot our old friend the rock hyrax (a fat cat-sized mouse) climbing the trees. Later at night it keeps us up by thumping on and off the wooden platform.

With some trepidation we get back into the kayak the next morning. This time the wind is against us. But we are more in sync paddling back to the mainland thanks to advice from ChatGPT and some great sailor chants to get the rhythm right. We celebrate the successful return with a late breakfast at one of the beachfront lodges.

Back at Chipatso, Ilia has developed a taste for Ben’s fruity art. She implores him to paint a watermelon in her house before we leave and he quickly sets to work. But some light food poisoning (probably from the victory breakfast) prevents him from finishing. So we have to stay an extra day. By dinner time he suddenly feels better, well enough in fact to polish off a cheesecake and a half for dessert.

We’re glad to stay the extra day. It gives Ben enough time to paint an apple on yet another wall and Lina to edit some more videos for TikTok. In the evening some boys from the program get out their drums and play some sweet tunes to see us off. “Who let the mzungu out” quickly becomes our new favorite song.

The next morning Ilia makes French toast for breakfast for the last time. We shall miss our long rambling conversations and her feeding us sweet treats. After searching for Ben’s beloved Casio watch for who knows how long (we weren’t able to tell time) we have to add it to the list of lost items (along with some stray socks and Lina’s sunglasses). No one cares about what time it is in Africa anyway.

After the goodbye hugs we finally set off. It feels strange to be back in the saddle after a week and a half. Lina’s dad‘s old saying “Pausen sind Gift” (breaks are poison) certainly applies. By the time we get to our last campsite on lake Malawi our old aches and niggles have reappeared and we feel as though this was the first day of the trip.

Thankfully we have another day off coming up in Liwonde Safari camp by the Shire River. We’re booked in for a game drive and boat ride. The night before we start the safari a little early. Lina wakes up from the noise of an elephant tearing apart a tree less than ten meters away from our tent.

We are reminded of our second day of the trip where there was a hippo just as close. But this time there is no electric fence separating us and with our tail between our legs we run and find the night guard. He chases off the elephant with man’s greatest discovery (fire, not cookie dough ice cream, as is commonly believed).

The next day we can enjoy the wildlife from the safe bubble of the 4×4/boat. It takes a while for the animals to warm up to us. But by the end of the day we will have seen impalas, kudus, waterbuck, buffaloes, warthogs, elephants, zebras, hippos, crocodiles, lots of colorful birds and even lions (at least through binoculars).

We’re now heading to the southern most part of Malawi for a final tourism stop at Mount Mulanje before crossing over to Mozambique.